Thank you for coming today
MC introduces themselves, with pronouns
Instructors introduce themselves, with pronouns
Bondage that removes ability to move / wiggle
We’ll look at bondage that is more secure (but not totally secure)
Immobilizing is different from tight
Demo unfrapped double column tie
Demo frapped version: more secure and more comfortable
Bottoms are full partners and have as much to learn as tops
Each module has a technical skill and application of that skill
One technical skill and one core kink skill
During lecture, focus on learning “why”
We’ll break into small groups to practice
This is the time to ask questions, get help with accommodations
During this phase, focus on learning “how”
There are no formal breaks: do self care during pods
Pods are also a great time for adaptations for bodies & play styles
Point out bathrooms, water, exits
Wear what you like, but keep bottom bits covered
It’s the first thing in your handouts because it’s the most important thing
We’ll talk about it a lot, starting now:
Now we’re gonna look at lashings
Lashings bind two things tightly together
Excellent combination of comfortable and immobilizing
Not as well known as they should be
Make this a fun, playful demo
Let’s look at some options for tying someone to a chair
Demo 1: column tie on ankle, tie off ankle to pole
Demo 2: tie ankle directly to pole with two column tie (no frapping)
Time for lashings!
Demo 3: parallel lashing against a pole (with frapping)
Think of these as three points on a continuum
Lashings are ideal for binding people to furniture
But also great for binding people to themselves
Can use anywhere you’d use a two column tie
Now the square lashing, for columns that cross at 90 degrees
Keep the square lashing above the wrist, not on it
Use cuff, not frapping when connecting to lashings
Demo: square lash wrists together
Demo: bind square lashing to chest
Demo: hands behind head
Notice that we finish both lashings with a square knot
Never mind the technical details, but it has some useful applications
What is a square knot? Demo the basic technique.
You can finish a tie with a square knot instead of a half hitch
Demo cinching when pulling on square knot
Demo attachment options that don’t engage the square knot
Cross leg with ankle/lower leg across thigh
Tying off means tying a person to furniture
Making really good tie offs takes some skill
Security versus tightness - tightness can lead to injury
Again: science, not tightness!
What’s good about furniture?
Make sure it won’t topple onto you, collapse under you, or get damaged
Spread eagle on bed
Bent over a coffee table
Sitting in a chair
Sitting against a stair railing
Beds are the best furniture for bondage, so we’ll start with rigging your bed
Then we’ll look at tying off in spread eagle position
And we’ll explore some ways to upgrade your tie offs:
As we go, keep these things in mind:
Work on managing and communicating these issues as they come up
For obvious reasons, tying someone to the bed is great
But most beds don’t have good anchor points
So we’re gonna fix that
If you’re lucky, you have sturdy bedposts
Most bed frames are terrible:
We’re gonna make our own anchors using a rappel ring plus utility cord
Demo attaching cord to a rappel ring with a standard lark’s head
Demo the lark’s head on a ring
Round turn & two half hitches
For example, along the side of a bed
Tie off an undoubled line with round turn & 2 half hitches
Run it along the bed rail
For each point:
Tie off the end with round turn & 2 half hitches
We’re gonna start with spread eagle
Classic position
Lousy for genital-genital sex
Great for immobilization, menacing, tickling...
So you can see what’s going on, we’re actually gonna do Samson position
Be careful with Samson because of fainting issues
Start with column ties on the wrists, with plenty of leftover rope
Make the cuffs a little loose for comfort / safety
Let’s tie them off and see what happens
That’s pretty fun, but there’s too much wriggle room
You should develop some intuition about how rope behaves
Rule 1: rope goes in the direction it’s pulled
Rule 2: rope goes from thick places to thin places
Rule 3: bottoms will create slack any way they can
The more you motivate someone, the more wriggle room they find
No matter how snug things are initially, you’ll end up with slack
So we’re gonna use an adjustable knot for removing slack as it happens
Demo the midshipman’s hitch
Remember: never leave a tied up person alone
The more immobilizing bondage is, the more dangerous it is to be alone in it
Removing slack is great
If you want to go further, the next step is to use geometry to your advantage
There’s still side to side wiggle room
That isn’t a solvable problem: nothing is resisting the sideways motion
Let’s not dislocated their shoulder—use science instead!
Split the ends and tie off in different directions
Now the sideways motion is pulling against a hardpoint
Next: tie off multiple parts of the same limb
Final option is to use a ladder
Demo
Undoubled line, two half hitches onto waist line
Spiral: around bed rail, through ladder rung
Finish with two half hitches.
Go through the ladder rung junction, not around the connector!
These techniques can lead to limbs being pulled in odd directions.
Watch out for muscle pulls and join strain.
Struggling puts knots under lots of tension
This can cause jamming
Inconvenient and also a significant safety issue
Cutting rope is your get out of jail free card
Don’t ever hesitate to cut rope: your partner is your top priority
Remember: you always need a cutting tool on your person
Practice cutting rope, both loose and under tension
Your first line of defense is the round turn
Sometimes that’s enough
The next step is to use slipped knots
Slipped knots are like quick-release knots
They rely on slipped half hitches
With two half hitches, slip the first one
Most effective strategy is the Munter hitch
Very reliable: we use it for suspension
Demo
Some naughty people like to untie themselves
Ideally the anchor is out of reach, but sometimes it isn’t
Solution: go through the anchor, then tie off somewhere else
Pass out rings and cord to your group
Make sure everyone has a good spot
Lark’s head on a ring
Simple round turn & two half hitches attachment
Running along a rail
Show how to adjust
Slipped half hitch
Slipped two half hitches
Run through tie off process
Key bottoming skill is knowing yourself
We sometimes think we all have to be the same “ideal” bottom
All great bottoms are unique
Great bottoming comes from knowing who you are and how you want to play
Every body is unique, with unique strengths and weaknesses
Key skill: knowing how your body works and how to talk about it
Many of us carry a lot of shame about our bodies
Common perception that only certain bodies can be tied up (young, fit, flexible)
Paisley’s example:
But actually, there is something in bondage for every body
You come with your body and whatever you can do is great.
Especially with immobilization, important to know what works and what doesn’t
Can take some trial and error to figure out what works for you
Go gently and work up to different intensities
Example: someone with tight shoulders
Example: can go deep in backbends
Talk to your top about injuries, strengths, and limitations
Let them know how far you want to go, what you'd like to experiment with
Immobilization allows for variety of different play styles
Knowing what mood you want will make a much better scene
Do you want to be verbally sassy but mostly physically acquiesce?
Do you want to resist and be “physically” bratty by struggling in the rope?
This might change what kind of ties your top uses
Do you want to endure a position for as long as possible to please your dominant?
Do you want to endure the pain and stress and be pushed to your edge?
Actively monkeying around in the ropes with the specific goal of getting out of the ropes?
How do you want to feel at the end of the scene? Successful? Spent?
Is it okay to fail and be laughed at?
Do you want the immobilization to be painful or just strenuous?
Type 1 vs. Type 2 fun
Convenient handles: rough handling, fucking
Tie off/anchor for arms
In this case, it’s a great starting point for a hogtie
Basic version: single band (just a basic column tie) on upper pectorals
For lying on back, put knot in front to avoid lying on it
Don't raise your arms while chest harness being tied.
Lowering arms will cause harness to tighten
Keep arms around shoulder level
Bottom preference varies
If no breasts, single band is often most comfortable
If breasts, single band above breasts or separate the bands (above/below)
Great time to build connection via cuddling and touch
Can be sensual/sexual, or loving/comforting
Why?
Consider weaving: decorative and more stable
Demo using the same line
Demo using a new line
Small changes have a big impact
Evaluate and give feedback on:
We generally prefer the standard chest harness
But if you want maximum back bend, you might consider the figure 8 harness
We’re gonna demo and discuss briefly, happy to cover in detail in pods
Demo, with reinforcement
Pros:
Cons:
Details matter
What is a hogtie? Demo the classic
Very immobilizing
Can be very challenging
“Slow cooker” stress position
Pain with predicament element
Core muscles (back and abs)
Legs/hip joints
Chest harness pressure
Breathing
Best option is generally a chest harness or figure 8
Watch out for grinding the ankle bones (offset the ankles or add padding)
If you use frapping, don’t constrict it
Hands antiparallel behind back
Connect ankles to chest, doubling back to make a simple pulley
Define stem as you tie it (vertical line down the back)
Be careful about face hitting the floor
Bottoms: lift into the bend rather than being pulled
Talk in advance about how much back bend you want and be sure to warm up
Think about jamming: slipped knot or Munter hitch?
Think about adjustability: midshipman’s hitch?
Separate the legs
Put wrists behind head
Put the arms behind the back:
Tie the arms to the legs:
Put the arms in front
The hair tie is a great addition
Helps increase back bend, but be careful of neck
This one was developed by Topologist
Going for endurance?
Short but intense?
Walk through basic harness
Demonstrate / teach on request
Warm up before strenuous ties like hogtie
Chest harness is often biggest source of discomfort.
Talk about breath restriction before starting
Offset the ankles
Add padding (frapping or a washcloth)
Separate legs
Legs separated (futos and/or separate lines to chest)
Arms:
Hair tie
Practice tying off
Practice triangulation
Practice lashing body parts together
Lashing to furniture
Test different tie offs under load, wiggling, jerking:
Try different arm and leg options
We teach consent in every class because
Today we’re talking about accountability
Accountability is like meta consent
The kink world is undergoing an accountability paradigm shift
The vanilla world has an accountability crisis
We’re gonna talk about 2 things:
Accountability is about identifying and fixing discrepancies
It's a powerful tool for personal growth
It's a powerful tool for functional societies
What we do is risky
Therefore important that we work to minimize the harm we cause
We’re currently digging out from a serious problem
At least 25% of big name rope instructors were serial consent violators
Incredibly harmful:
That last is super important
Be thoughtful about who you choose as instructors / leaders
We had a great time—we hope you did also.
What next?
We’re a professional, values-driven kink organization
We think kink should be super fun, and also super ethical
That goes double for kink instruction
We have tons of great stuff on our website
What / when / where?
What’s it about?
What makes it cool?
Individual instructors pimp their events & classes
Thank our hosts
Invite hosts to talk about themselves / their events
Go out in the world and have fun!