The world is full of people who are dangerous, abusive, or aggravating. You are allowed to cut those people out of your life and you will be happier if you do.
Lawsuits cause great harm: people who file frivolous lawsuits are deliberately harming other people for their own benefit.
Legal threats are distressing and intimidating: people who make gratuitous legal threats do so in order to bully and intimidate others.
Like most bullies, litigious people often try to pretend they aren’t actually attacking others. Don’t fall for it: saying “you might want to get a lawyer” is like saying “you better watch your back”. It’s a blatant attempt to intimidate another person and the person making the threat knows exactly what they’re doing.
We learned how to respond to legal threats in the corporate world and we‘ve found the same strategy works just as well in consent work.
When someone makes even a casual legal threat against you, they have escalated their relationship with you into a legal conflict. You shouldn’t have direct contact with someone with whom you’re in a legal conflict for exactly the same reasons you shouldn’t make public statements when you’re in a lawsuit.
Here’s the language we use:
“Because you threatened to sue me, I am unable to have any further contact with you except through counsel. If you need to communicate with me, your lawyer may ask me for my lawyer’s contact information.”
Don’t give them your lawyer’s contact information: make them get a lawyer and have their lawyer ask for it. There is no legitimate reason for them to communicate directly with your lawyer at this time and it is inappropriate for them to do so.
From this point on, you should not respond to any further communication from that person. Don’t be surprised if they contact you repeatedly, trying to get you to respond to them.