Negotiation
Negotiation
Here’s a basic framework for negotiating a bondage scene. Remember: ask, don’t guess!
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Before
Health & safety
Injuries & health
STI status
Risk profile
Limits
Let’s discuss
Emotional state
Triggers
Relationships
Skill levels
Are we ready?
Explicit consent
Clear plan
Food & water
Bathroom
During
It should feel:
Sexy
Immobilizing
Tight
Beautiful
You should be:
Playful
Caring
Strict
Connected
How sexy?
Not at all
Intimate
Kissing
Groping
OK to touch:
Face
Breasts / chest
Genitals
Butt
Sex?
Oral sex
Penetration
Orgasms
Safer sex
How challenging?
Easy
Comfortable
Challenging
Strenuous
Pain?
Discomfort
Light pain
Medium pain
Heavy pain
Headspace:
Lab scene
Co-conspirators
Light D/s
Heavy D/s
Communication:
Words
Stoplight
Safeword
Hand signals
Let’s use:
Blindfold
Gag
Collar
Vibrator
Extras:
Tickling
Spanking
Pain play
Role play
Marks are OK:
Under swimsuit
Shorts & t-shirt
Under a suit
Anywhere
Marks lasting:
Up to 1 hour
Up to overnight
Up to 1 week
Up to months
Photos?
Yes, no face
Yes, no nudity
Yes, no sex acts
Anything goes
Share photos?
Just for us
For portfolio
Share on FetLife
Share anywhere
After
Aftercare
Cuddling
Debrief
Food & water
Sex
Check in
Text
Phone call
When?
Just in case
What’s your plan if someone gets hurt? If someone experiences a consent injury?